ebassist dot com  ebassist dot com...

» Stats
Members: 521
Threads: 2,587
Posts: 324,522
Welcome to our newest member, jordenpeterson
» Site Navigation
    > want ads!
» chat
    > alt.guitar.bass
» Today's Birthdays
» Current Poll
Do you like the logo?
Love it! - 18.75%
3 Votes
Hate it! - 50.00%
8 Votes
BOALG's mother liked your logo last night - 31.25%
5 Votes
Total Votes: 16
You may not vote on this poll.
» Log in
User Name Not a member yet?
Register Now!
Father being a dick
Jul 19, 2017 - 6:28 PM - by Jazz Ad
Jazz Ad's Avatar Mine is, according to my wife and I tend to agree with her more and more as time goes by.

It goes a long way back. Although I didn't realize it back then, he never got involved into my education. My mother did.I never realized it because I was kind of a loner myself and prefered to be left free.
I remember that as a teenager, after a bad argument we had, he didn't talk to me for almost a year.

I learned a few stories along time, like once after arguing with my mother he abandoned her at a gas station and she had to call her dad to go and get her.
He wasn't the most faithful husband but I decided to never ever get involved or try to know about this.

He always did the essentials of what a dad has to do though. Nice gifts, trying to bond over some things like music (he's got thousands of records and a passion for jazz and classical that he passed on to me)

He eventually decided to move away from my mom, made a point of not doing it before I graduated, which is what he did.
Financial support was always given, as well as help to get summer jobs and stuff like that.

Never cared for his new wife but gave good figure, since I wasn't the one living with her.
Eventually along time they became more and more like hermits. They started dissing their used to be friends, my stepmom's kids, their own parents etc.

I always maintained a basic relationship along time, spent a couple Xmas at his house, even a week of vacation with them in my uncle's house at the sea, during which they never missed an occasion to diss my then girlfriend and expressing clich racist views.

This said I can't remember a single phone call or other form of communication he initiated, he eventually returned my calls and that's it.
A big regret is that he didn't get close to his grandson, although he had a big property in the countryside and I lived in a condo downtown.

I never ever knew what he thought about me, my music (yeah, bass was an inferior instrument and I should at least play upright, which I did back then but didn't bother telling him) or the way I lead my life.

I can only remember one single huge compliment I received from him, that I did a great job as a father and should be proud of taking care of my son so well despite difficulties.. Uh, thanks Dad I guess.

I got married last year, invited him, at first he didn't want to come and used my step mom's health to say that they shouldn't stay long and only come for the ceremony, reception and not dinner.

My step mom and aunt did clever moves and eventually he stayed with us for dinner and party, about which I was quite happy.
Of all invitees, he was the only one who didn't find the gift basket and left nothing.

We talked on the phone a few times about a few things, including my grandad's death (mother side). He attended the ceremony and passed an envelope to me then, claiming he didn't see a basket at the wedding. Ok.

I tried to join him several times afterwards but he didn't return the calls. Eventually his number didn't work anymore, I investigated a bit and learned that he sold his house and moved to Brittany, near my aunt's place. That's almost 500 miles from here and he forgot to tell me he moved.
He bought an ancient farm in the middle of nowhere, no close neighboor.

After recollecting his phone number and adress, I called him to exchange news like nothing happened and informed him I that he was soon to be a grandfather again.

His reaction? "At your age you have better things to do than to have kids. You're not getting younger and will have to support him, not very wise of you."

While he was at it, he told me that people in Champagne were idiots to still live here and had an awful mentality compared to where he now lived, that he felt like he reached completion.
He lived in Champagne all his life and I'm still here but hey, let's put this on the account of novelty.

Baby eventually landed in april. I didn't see the point of calling him since he never asked for news regarding the pregnancy. Likely a mistake.

We were kinda busy as expected. We made baby cards that we first distributed to nearest coworkers, friends and family, those that visited us. We only sent the rest by mail 2 weeks ago.

Last event today, I received the baby card and envelope back, folded in two, with a question mark near my baby's photo, dates of birth and post stamp circled in black and nothing else. It was quite a shock.

Now, I don't know how to react to this. I feel like I'm done begging him to be part of my life.
So far the best line of action I can come with is to do nothing. Send a card for new year and that's it. Minimal service.

tldr; Emptying my bag, father's being a dick and I don't know how to handle it.

Thoughts welcome.
19 Replies
How do you pronounce this?
Jul 21, 2017 - 4:24 PM - by Samson
Samson's Avatar Whatever you call it, don't put it on your french fries.
91 Replies
Lease New vs Buy Used
Jul 24, 2017 - 2:37 PM - by zachoff
zachoff's Avatar Going to sell my truck. Going to probably buy a Tacoma. Used Tacomas are pretty damned expensive. Looking for something that's late-model w/ less than 50k miles & no accidents is $25-30k. If I sell my truck for $7k, that's still a hefty payment. I drive less than 15k miles per year, so I'm starting to explore a new truck lease instead of a used truck buy. What do you think? Good idea? Bad idea?
20 Replies
Where did all of these flat earth nutjobs come from?
May 26, 2017 - 8:21 AM - by Seethroughsouls
Seethroughsouls's Avatar I have seen a lot of ignorance in my life, but WTF? I have a lot of facebook friends but it seems the handful that post the most are the flat earthers. It's seems that these future mensa members also believe the moon landing was fake and 9/11 was faked/carried out by our government. I am as anti-conspiracy theories as a person can get, largely due to the fact that I can't get 8 people to keep a secret that isn't national security much less thousands, so what sayeth ye ebassers is the earth flat in your opinion?
206 Replies
G.A.S. Thread
Oct 08, 2015 - 2:03 PM - by b-bottom
b-bottom's Avatar For some reason I really want one of the 2012 Gibson Flying V reissues. They didn't make many of them so I'm having a hell of a time finding one for a reasonable price.

2,147 Replies
» Online Users: 32
13 members and 19 guests
Croissant Seven, DWBass, ec437, FloydianAnimal, Kindness, King Kashue, LanEvo, moogieotter, rummy, t3ch, zachoff
Most users ever online was 1,603, 04-27-2009 at 05:52 PM.
» Today's Visitors
Registered Visitors: 79
Powered by vBadvanced CMPS v3.2.2

All times are GMT -5. The time now is 05:30 PM.

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.6
Copyright ©2000 - 2017, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.